In today’s world, living a life of restraint can feel increasingly difficult. Many sincerely wish to cultivate virtue, yet struggle with the deeper discipline of celibacy.
Why is celibacy described in the Supreme Buddha’s Teaching as a noble and distinguished way of conduct — something greater than merely observing a precept? What makes it so highly valued on the spiritual path?
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Now before this we spoke about the solution for protecting the 5 precepts if it’s difficult to do so. Another solution for that is giving alms frequently. That helps protect precepts. Because giving alms frequently helps retain that person in the lay person’s Dhamma. The lay person’s Dhamma is the refuge of the Noble Triple Gem and (protecting) the 5 precepts. One is retained in that by giving alms frequently. I am not sure how what we speak of today will be for the majority. But of those I meet, some people have this problem. We should discuss this topic directly in the ordained community; but for those lay people who would like to develop certain wholesome qualities, there’s a factor that brings some pressure. What is that? Today we will be speaking of celibacy.
The Gautama Buddha’s Dispensation is known as the absolute, complete, unblemished, and pure celibacy. When speaking of celibacy, one firstly remembers the (relevant) precept. But celibacy means distinguished behavior. Noble policy. The most noble policy in this world is the Noble Eightfold Path. Therefore, the absolute, complete celibacy is the Noble Eightfold Path. So, it is because all of us couldn’t practice absolute, complete, noble celibacy that we have travelled in saṁsara for this long. That’s the primary thing. Next, we call the Buddha’s Word celibacy. The word celibacy is also used to address the Buddha’s Word. Next giving alms is also referred to as celibacy. Alms is also referred to as celibacy. Virtue is also referred to as celibacy. Wholesome qualities are also referred to as celibacy. If there is a certain wholesome quality that you have not broken for a long time, that too is called celibacy.
Celibacy is also referred to the (abstaining for sexual misconduct) precept. So distinguished behavior… So, in a society where the 5 precepts are not protected, if someone can – in the 5 precepts policy, if someone is protecting the 5 precepts well – that person has a certain celibacy in the Budhha’s Dispensation. Next, if a certain young son or a young daughter without ruining their life, if until he/she gets married if they don’t have sexual relations with another – if they live like that – that too is a celibacy. That’s called Kumari Bambasara (for girls) and Kumara Bambasara (for boys). Next, a person who is married, other than his wife if that person doesn’t have (sexual) relations with other women, and (if a wife) doesn’t have (sexual) relations with any man other than her husband, those people too have celibacy in their lay lives. Therefore, those too are certain celibacies. Next, for monks completely abstaining from lustful and sexual acts – that is that venerable monk’s immaculate celibacy.
So, the Supreme Buddha described in this manner. Now this is what we are discussing today. So, let’s say a venerable monk. This is very difficult in today’s society. In today’s society lust (is present) from a younger age, correlated to the reduction in lifespan. The Supreme Buddha said that a time is coming when humans will get married when they are 5 years old and have children. Such incidents are visible in abundance now. These are the first signs of the end of this era, the fading of the Dhamma from the world, and the destruction of wholesome qualities. With the reduction of lifespans, and next, in this era the first signs and the behaviors are children who are lustful, as well as young adults and older adults depict this. During the time of the appearance of a Supreme Buddha, in the Brahmin community a marriage will be considered at the age of 48. Until the age of 48 years, Brahmins have remained celibate. Only when they turn 48 do they think about marrying or not. So, in current time as soon as one passes 20 years they think often “Will I get married or not?” Likewise, during the Buddha’s Time – 2,600 years ago – the Brahmin community thought of marriage at the age of 48. Royal princes have gotten married when they were 16 years old. I am talking about surpassing the limit of marriageable age was 48 years. There are suttas regarding this. I said these by referring to suttas. But in current times, as soon as one surpasses the ages of 20-25, when one passes 30, they get so scared thinking “I will not be able to get married.” So, let’s leave those aside. I am talking about how much inner strength a person had back then to remain celibate. That is until about 50 years… They had great inner strength to be celibate. But that ability is rare in these times. The Supreme Buddha said people born in Dambadiva possess an innate ability to practice celibacy through determination. So, it’s very difficult for those born in bordering nations and far away lands to remain celibate.
Therefore, some people hear about celibacy and young sons and daughters, and meritorious lay people have the desire “Oh if only we too could protect the celibacy precept.” So, there are 5 ways of protecting precepts. Precepts are protected naturally. So, in today’s young community, there are children – and there are certain lay people too – who are virtuous by birth. That is, some people don’t have the urge to perform sexual acts. They’re naturally virtuous. The Great Arahant Kaccāna Thero says there are such people. So, when such people hear the Dhamma and have the innate ability to protect their virtue, their lives continue beautifully. The Great Arahant Kaccāna Thero said some people can protect precepts if they observe them. If they don’t observe them, they can’t protect them. So, by hearing about the noble virtue, they observe and protect the 5 precepts, and they think they must develop their virtue more. Then they become celibate on Poya days. Until dawn arrives, they protect a noble precept. They remain virtuous for the 4 Poya days (of the month). Next, little by little and from time to time, they observe and protect (higher) precepts. There are some young adults who observe and protect the precept of abstaining from sexual misconduct very well. When they were unaware of the precept, they didn’t think of protecting it. But after they begin to listen to Dhamma sermons, they try. Then once they observe, they can protect the precepts. That’s an ability of theirs. Being able to protect by observing (precepts).
Next, some people can’t protect even if they observe. That’s a nature of this world. Now we’ve understood life and are trying to find answers for problems, meritorious ones. So, the Great Arahant Kaccāna Thero said for such people, precepts are protected by faith. The celibacy of The Great Arahant Rahula Thero… The celibacy of The Great Arahant Aṅgulimāla Thero… The celibacy of The Great Arahant Maha Kassapa Thero… Next, the pure lives of the Arahant nuns… The Great Yashodara Theri’s life… The purity of the Arahants… The Great Arahant Dabbamallaputta Thero said that he had not even dreamt of committing sexual acts. So, He hasn’t seen sexual acts even in dreams. How clean are those hearts? How clean are those eyes? How clean are those mouths? Without saying a bad word… How clean are those bodies without any bad associations? So, it’s surprising to hear such things. People think, “Oh, if only we too could receive such a noble life!” and through that delight, they enter a noble life. Into celibacy… So, then they have faith… Some other people have Calmness. Calmness means meditation. When they begin to meditate well, impurities in the mind reduce. Meditations on the impurities of the body, loving-kindness meditation, reflection on the qualities of the Buddha. When doing so – with that meditation – the pressure faced from lust dissipates. With calming meditations, one can protect precepts. Next some others practice Insight (meditation). Such as impermanence, the dangers of lust, the impermanence of touch, the impermanence of signs… The impermanence of the enjoyment of joy that’s temporary. When reflecting on those, lustful desires fade away. And precepts won’t be broken.
So, there are 5 methods like that. So, let’s discuss this. The solutions for the problems that arise at that moment. So, I’ve studied the lectures given to the youngsters and school-going children in today’s society. So, the advice given by many for young lives is not to control lust. They say, “Do whatever you think of.” I recently saw a mental health advisor giving advice to parents. To give the necessary comforts to children to perform lust related activities. It’s then that their minds will relax. So, we have the question – should we do what a Buddha asked us to do? or the advice of people who are blinded by lust, who search for joy from lust, and who think that lust is freedom. What’s more important for the society of the future? I thought about this for a moment in silence. All of you take whichever answer you like. But taking the right answer can only be done by a person who has wisdom. A person requires self-control and discipline. So, the normal world can’t even imagine.
This exactly happened. King Udeni asked the Great Arahant Piṇḍolabhāradvāja Thero “These young lives – these princes and princesses – that have black hair are ordaining in this Buddha’s Dispensation without getting married.” “They haven’t even been married.” “They haven’t enjoyed lust either.” “But how do they control their feelings” “and protect a precept on celibacy without performing lustful acts?” Then The Great Arahant Bhāradvāja Thero preached “The all-knowing” “and the all-seeing Supreme Buddha of this world” “told us about a respectful discussion.” What’s that? “That is, when one sees an older lady (to think) ‘She is like my mother or aunt.” The way we talk respectfully with mothers, aunts, elderly grandmothers, and older ladies – we must behave like that. When talking with someone younger than you, we must behave as “She is like my own younger sister.” “She’s like my sister.” You won’t have unnecessary thoughts about your own sister, right? That respect… So we’ll speak respectfully. So respectful customs helps (to practice) celibacy. Now even for a venerable monk, if one speaks in a very humble manner saying “Oh dear venerable sir, I request your permission…” The monks too address them as “Devotee,” “meritorious lady.” As such, if a woman is addressed respectfully, a certain distance is created between the Saṅgha and lay people. “You, sister, little sister.” If such words are taken, it turns in to something else. So the Supreme Buddha said that customs are helpful to protect precepts. Customs… The custom of (using) respectful words… Respectful behavior… Then the king said “Venerable sir,” “there are some who have too much lust.” “So even if they think like that, they have desires.” “Can it not happen?” He asked like that. Then the Great Arahant said “That can happen.” “When that happens, there’s another solution.” What’s the next solution? The all-seeing and all-knowing Supreme Buddha – from this hair and below – and from the soles of the feet and upwards, this body that’s covered in skin, we are asked to reflect on the 32 body parts – although which are covered by skin, these head hairs, body hairs, nails, teeth, skin, flesh, veins, bones, bone marrow, kidneys, heart, liver, the small intestine, the large intestine, stomach. Next, the pancreas, the spleen, lungs, small intestines, large intestines, liver, excrement. Next, bile, phlegm, pus, blood, sweat, skin oils, tears, spit, snot, fluid in the joints, urine. These are what’s in this body. Just like opening up a bag full of various grains such as mung beans, sesame seeds, chickpeas, etc; we were asked to look at this (our body) and identify these separately. The meditation on the impurities of the body…. This is what this body has, isn’t it?… When meditating on these 32 impure parts of the body, lust gradually fades away. When a chicken’s feather is put in a fire, it shrivels up. Just like that, the lustful desires shrivel up… The meditation is developed well. Then the king said “Venerable sir, even though we meditate,” “some people are unable to practice meditation properly.” “So aren’t there instances where they intent to meditate but develop desires instead?” Then (the Arahant) responded “Yes, that happens to a person reflecting unwisely.” “So what’s the solution then?” The Arahant preached “The Supreme Buddha who sees all and knows all” “to protect one’s virtue, celibacy, and noble life; He mentioned a way. That is restraining your senses.” ‘Cakkhunā rūpaṁ disvā na nimittaggāhī hoti nānubyañjanaggāhī; yatvādhikaraṇamenaṁ cakkhundriyaṁ asaṁvutaṁ viharantaṁ abhijjhādomanassā.’ – “If we look at a form that would develop defilements such as greed, conflict in our minds,” “if such forms cause conflicts in the mind, such forms are not be looked at.” “Forms that provoke the mind are not looked at.” “Forms that provoke the ear aren’t listened to. Smells that provoke the mind are not enjoyed.” “Touch that provokes the mind are not enjoyed by the body.” “Things that provoke the mind are not thought about.” This is called restraining the senses. If you think looking at something will provoke your desires, you will not look at it. If you think listening to something will provoke your desires, you will not listen to it. If you think smelling something will provoke your lustful desires, you will not smell it. It’s not enjoyed. If one thinks eating something will create craving, it’s not consumed. If one thinks caressing something will arouse one’s mind, such things are not enjoyed. If one thinks thinking about certain things will create craving, such thoughts are not thought of. (The king) replied “Venerable sir, that’s very correct.” “Even I – venerable sir – without protecting my senses,” “without any discipline, when I go to my wives’ quarters and visit them and see them, I too become crazy.” “But on any day, I have royal duties on my mind,” “when I am only concentrating on them, there are instances where I pass my wives’ quarters many times. Then lust does not arise within me.” The Supreme Buddha who sees all and knows all said controlling your senses is the method that certainly works. And thus, the king realized.
The Supreme Buddha said controlling the senses is closest to celibacy. That is, someone who would like to be celibate should definitely first practice controlling the senses. The closest thing to controlling your senses is not watching provocative content. Now look, young daughters and sons. If you would like to protect a noble virtue, your virtue is harmed because of your uncontrolled senses. The senses are uncontrolled surely due to provocative content. Definitely due to the phone. Or because of inappropriate conversations and messages. That’s how the mind is provoked. Then there’s no control of the senses. Uncontrolled senses ends with the breaking of precepts. Then if you like celibacy, you should be mindful of controlling your senses instead of celibacy. Controlling your senses becomes difficult because of provocative content. That is listening to and watching videos and stories that provoke your feelings. The messages and chats with friends. With such things… I told this to young adults. Monks need to study about noble celibacy throughout their lives. They must research, get teacher’s guidance often, by getting guidance and direction, monks must sort out their lives. Here I’m speaking about all of your problems. What I’ve seen is, some young boys like these precepts. Anyone would like them, right? Although they like the precepts, they can’t protect them. So however much they try, they can’t protect the precepts or be celibate. In the end, they don’t have the happiness of someone who at least protects the 5 precepts because they are trying to be celibate. So, the advice we give for such individuals is to protect the 5 precepts. Protect the 5 precepts… If you want to reach a noble virtue, Observe precepts well during the Poyas and four Poyas. Or observe precepts for a set period of time. Next, increase the amount of time little by little. Next, the single life is helpful to remain celibate. Therefore, think about it. Methodically. Virtue should not birth sadness and pressure. Virtue should birth happiness. It should be that way if you are protecting the precepts correctly.
Some people play tricks citing celibacy. What are those? Some women find their husbands disgusting. So as soon as they hear a sermon like this, what do they do? They tell their husbands that they are being celibate and remain separated. They blame the sermon for it. The truth is they find their husbands disgusting and not that they have any concern about saṁsara or virtue. They message and chat with others. There are men like that too. Their wives disgust them, so they say they are protecting a precept. By being celibate. But they chat and talk with other women. What’s that virtue then? Therefore, those are called tricks. Those are musāvāda (lies). That’s deception. That’s cheating. That’s being cunning. That’s not celibacy…. Celibacy is something noble, calm and a thing that blesses others. It’s something kind and compassionate. The lay life is ruined by such cunningness. Then those people scold the Noble Triple Gem. Not like that. Those who are married should protect the 5 precepts as virtue. They then – for Poya or for the 4 Poyas – or for an agreed period of time by both parties, they will protect a noble virtue. The celibacy precept is not something a married person can decide by themselves to observe. This advice is for young adults, daughters, sons who would like to protect precepts. This is not a mandatory precept that should be observed in married life. The Supreme Buddha advised lay people to observe the 5 precepts. Those 5 precepts should be protected and on Uposatha days, the precepts should be observed correctly. Those who prefer can protect precepts on the 4 Poyas. Daughters and sons, if you can protect this precept, it’ll make your lives beautiful. There are those who can. Those who cannot can protect the 5 precepts. But remember that it’s difficult to protect precepts because the senses are not controlled. The controlling of senses is absent because there’s a lot of provocative content. The phone has the most provocative content in the world. Next is the TV. Next, associating friends whose unwholesome qualities are aroused. Conversations and association. Because of these, the mind is provoked. The mind that is provoked becomes uncontrolled. It’s difficult for uncontrolled minds to protect precepts. So some people are naturally virtuous. There are good people. Even though it’s said that our young generation is ruined, there are some children who have wholesome qualities. I’ve met children who protect precepts by listening to one Dhamma stanza. I’ve met children who love virtue. I’ve met children with lovely hearts. So, virtue is protected naturally. Or by observing them.
Next, virtue is protected because of faith or because of insight. Next, being pleased by the qualities of Arahants helps greatly to protect virtue. The celibacy of Arahants, for their pure lives, for the extremely noble virtue of The Blessed One. For the pure lives of noble ladies such as Lady Yashodara. Respecting them, worshipping them and attending to them is mindful appreciation and helps to be virtuous. Next is offering fragrant flowers hoping “May we receive pure lives.” By spreading fragrance “May we have lives that spread the fragrance of virtue and wholesomeness.” By offering cool drinking water “May I receive a extinguished heart free of lust, hatred and delusion.” By sweeping and cleaning Bo tree and stupa terraces “Just as these terraces were cleaned, may my heart be cleaned too.” By worshipping and attending to virtuous and wholesome people “May we too receive lives such as those that virtuous and noble people protect.” As such, opposing kamma can be birthed. Opposing kamma can be birthed… (Even by) special care and offerings extended to Arahants. That’s why in our Dhamma sermons of the recent past we mentioned the purity of The Great Arahant Rahula Thero. When Rahula Thero was born and he opened his eyes, he saw a mother who had rid herself of lust and was wearing a robe. Then as a father he saw a Buddha. How clean are his eyes? How pure? Absolutely celibate. His life at 7 years wasn’t soiled. From that point he’s celibate. That’s why in Elpitiya’s Mahamevnawa Meditation Monastery, the great Rahula stupa is being constructed. That’s why I’m telling these boys and girls to offer at least a brick and request for a noble life. Our Ananda Thero… Pure lives… He attended to our Supreme Buddha for 25 years. He never had a lustful thought. Neither any hateful or harmful thoughts. He touched the Supreme Buddha’s Body in this manner. He worshipped the Blessed Feet in this manner. He took the Supreme Buddha’s alms bowl and robe to his hand. He followed the Supreme Buddha as He travelled. It’s as if his entire body was purified. He had the Dhamma in his mind. The body and mind is fragrant by the fragrance of the Supreme Buddha. Ananda Thero has been cooled by the comfort of the Supreme Buddha. That’s why I say to place a brick for such sages’ stupas, children. Attend to the great Ananda stupa in Galnewa. Earn merits (by attending to) such nobles lives. The Great Arahant Aṅgulimāla Thero who escaped wrong. Attend to that stupa, worship it and recite paritta. Prostrate yourself near the Arahant and request for strength to overcome your shortcomings. All those belong to protecting precepts by faith. Use methods like that and come to a noble life. But remember not to be sad. Don’t be sad. Be happy at least by protecting the 5 precepts. Protect the precepts to the best of your ability. So the half an hour has come to an end. May this merit we are all collecting be a reason for us to have a noble life. This merit of turning to the direction of the fragrance of the Supreme Buddha – may it be a reason for us to reach a noble life…!